Comments for Grad School: How I Survive

Comment on Lowered expectations by Cathryn Blue

Cathryn Blue — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:59:44 +0000

I sure hope you get this Char,

I would love for you to use my blog for your class. Things have been quite hectic and I have not blogged with this company since they stopped paying me last year

What is your blog site doing now? I’d be interested in learning more about what you’re doing.

-Blue

Comment on Harmony by Cathryn Blue

Cathryn Blue — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:47:49 +0000

Very true. I lay back in Forest Park at the Grand Basin with some Bing cherries from Soulard Market and a non-academic book. After 5 hours pass, I’m dark as onyx, completely relaxed, and full of cherries. It does help.

Blue

Comment on High Stakes Testing. Why? by Cathryn Blue

Cathryn Blue — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:42:22 +0000

Venessa,

I am terribly sorry for returning this message 6 months later than you sent it. I have not blogged since last September. I am so sorry you were going through the situation you were going through. I know a lot of people experiencing the same thing with parents. It’s a difficult situation: on one hand, you are goal oriented and set in what you want to do. On the other hand, you want to quiet your parents’ worries and assure them that everything will be fine without going against their wishes. As always, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do.

First of all, you have a bachelor’s degree (or soon will). By default, you are already in the top 25% of Americans in terms of education and earning potential, even if you stopped now. You should never have to move in with your parents.

Secondly, graduate school is very hard. In many circumstances, people quit because they just don’t have support. First generation college graduates and students from immigrant families don’t have anyone to turn to who understands the grad school culture. You work really hard for no money and you have no time. It can be very odd to most people outside of academia. However, you’re lucky because you’ll be married to someone who will be travelling that journey with you. You two will be able to support each other and learn to cope together. I have a colleague at SLU who is married with a kid and her husband is also in grad school. They both work very hard, but because they understand each other, they can be more supportive. For example, their idea of a beautiful evening is putting their son to bed and sitting on the couch together with their respective laptops, working on research.

The truth is, your parents may not come around. They may not understand and they may not support your decisions completely. When you have your masters or ph.d. degree, they will understand. Part of growing up is breaking away from our parents and sometimes disappointing them. As long as you know what your goals are and you do everything you can to reach your goals, you will be successful. Your parents only love you and want to protect you, but when things get rocky between you and them, just continue to be the respectable and accomplished woman you are and they will respect you more in time.

Blue

Comment on Get it together people by Heartburn Home Remedy

Heartburn Home Remedy — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:38:05 +0000

I follow your posts for quite a long time and should tell that your posts are always valuable to readers.

Comment on High Stakes Testing. Why? by Heartburn Home Remedy

Heartburn Home Remedy — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:37:20 +0000

I read your blog for a long time and must tell you that your articles always prove to be of a high value and quality for readers.

Comment on High Stakes Testing. Why? by Vanessa N.

Vanessa N. — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:26:16 +0000

Hi Blue! This is Vanessa, I commented a few times on your other posts. Hopefully you remember, but just wanted you to know that I’m going to graduate school next year to pursue a masters in Civil Engineering. I mentioned before that my gpa was not a 3.0, and even though I’ve been busting my butt, it’s still not. BUT, I’ve been working with a Professor that is absolutely wonderful, and he is willing to take me as a graduate student in the fall of next year, even with my current gpa. I will also be sitting in one of his graduate classes next quarter. Anyways, I’m so excited but my family doesn’t understand what’s going on. I try to explain to my parents and grandma that I’m continuing with school, but I am getting my degree (BS) and graduate school is WORKING. I need them to understand these things so they feel comfortable with me and my boyfriend getting married the summer before we go to grad-school. Actually, it was yesterday my boyfriend took my dad out to lunch to ask for his blessing. My dad was impressed, BUT thinks it’s a bad idea since we will both be going to school (he is going to grad school as well). My father’s main worry is that I will end up like my sister. She got married, and never went back to the junior college after dropping out. He and my mom are financially supporting her and her husband (a lot) because her husband doesn’t work. Anyways, is there anything I can do to help my family understand. They immigrated here to the US from Mexico, and none of them have a college education. I’m the first in my family, and it’s just been difficult in getting my parents support when they view things so differently. I tried googling this issue, i.e. how to help your parents understand graduate school and what it really means, there was nothing. I would be grateful for any suggestions you have. One thing I may do is this. The professor I’m working with knows about my personal background and struggles etc. And he said that if I ever need something, like a letter, just stated to my parents what I’m doing, or that they should be very proud, to just ask. I think this is the perfect opportunity for that. Let me know what you think, and take care.

Comment on Get it together people by Gillian

Gillian — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 05:16:10 +0000

Comment on Correlation vs. Causation by Gillian

Gillian — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 05:14:27 +0000

To the poster above, Kris. I too am black and living in the united states and earning my phd. in psychology. i think that perhaps before you say to someone “you have a real problem” it might be helpful for you to stop and try to understand that people in this world have different experiences than you. Where you are living, the predominant culture, your social and economic class, your physical appearance, your race, all influence how you experience the world and how the world treats you. You cannot possible know what it feels like to be this blogger and she is expressing her unique experience to other. Perhaps you can learn something and not be so quick to criticize, doubt, or judge her human experience.

Comment on High Stakes Testing. Why? by Gillian

Gillian — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 05:04:24 +0000

There is a long of research initiated by Claude Steele professor at Stanford that looks at what he calls stereotype threat. the idea behind this is that when a person is asked to perform a task in which there is a predominant and relevant stereotype that pertains to an aspect of themselves, they will become consciously or unconscious anxious about confirming those stereotypes therefore their performance will be hindered. For example, a stereotype exists that suggest African Americans are unintelligent and do poorly on standardized tests. If race in this example has been primed (i.e. asking to report race on your exam before starting), the anxiety to disprove the stereotype will hinder performance. He used the idea of stereotype threat as one of the explanations behind the achievement gap (the discrepancy that exists between black and white students on standardized test.)

Comment on Correlation vs. Causation by Kris

Kris — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:04:00 +0000

You have a real problem and old view about blacks general. I’m from Europe and in graduate school I don’t see this at all.This is the old thinking, lets blame anybody. not us. It is time to heal your soul
Best wisches
Kris